When You Try To Be Kinky But You Don't Succeed
by motherficolfer
Summary: Kurt and Blaine have been told they're very vanilla. Blaine throws out the idea that they should try some kinky things. But in reality, they know next to nothing about how the kinks they try work. (Idea by Sebby aka @princegumbaII on twitter. *u*)
1. Chapter 1

It's been a few months since Kurt and Blaine first had sex.

"Hey, Kurt?" Blaine asked one day.

"Yes, Blaine?" Kurt replied, flipping through his Vogue magazine. When Kurt didn't hear anything coming from the other boy in his room, he looked up. Blaine looked very hesitant and looked down at his homework, but not doing it. "Blaine, what do you want?" He still wouldn't answer. Kurt put down his magazine and got up from his chair, sighing heavily. He sat down on the bed, immediately attaching his lips to Blaine's neck. The other boy moaned as he licked at the spot underneath his ear where he knew he loved.

"_Kuuuurt_, this isn't fair." He moved his head so Kurt stopped kissing his neck. He groaned in protest, and Blaine smiled at the pout that took over Kurt's face. "I just want to ask you a personal question, but I didn't want to seem stupid." He looked down at the Physics book he didn't want to worry about.

"Blaine, baby, I won't judge you." He kissed Blaine's cheek and trailed his way down to his collar bone.

"I want to try kinky things."

Kurt stopped mid-kiss on his collar bone. He slowly lifted his head up to look at Blaine's face. _Did he just say...?_

And as if Blaine could read his mind, he said, "Yeah, I've heard about it from Santana. She said it's the best to not be so vanilla like- and I quote- "Porcelain and Caper the friendly Asian." Are we really that plain and boring?"

Kurt looked down at the kilt he was wearing. "Um...?"

"I'm talking about sex, Kurt."

"Oh. Well don't listen to Santana. We can do whatever we want."

"Does that mean we can try it?"

Kurt could tell by Blaine's eyes that he wanted this so bad. "Okay," Kurt said finally. "We can try to be... kinky."

Blaine cheered silently. Kurt rolled his eyes and smiled.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, now let's get back to where we were before..."


	2. Chapter 2

**AN**: Hi! I'm Brilee, and this is just a fic that I thought would be funny to write. It's my first story (and probably my only, I'm not very great at writing). I'm really stupid and that's why I decided to write this. :) I don't know how long it will be, but I'll try to update it fast. Oh, and if you want to say it sucks, I don't care! I'm always up for criticism! Oh, and I don't own Glee, or it would be COMPLETELY different. Here's the story!

Kurt stood by his locker, getting his Calculus book.

"Hey!" He was greeted cheerfully. God, it was too early for Blaine's sweet persona.

"Hi, Blaine." He grabbed his forehead. "Can you not be so loud?"

"I'm sorry." He frowned. "But I just overheard a kink Santana was talking about!" He looked so excited that his eyebrows shot up to his gelled-all to hell hair. "And it sounds really weird, but I bet it's hot. It's something called _breathplay_." He emphasized the strange phrase to Kurt.

Kurt never heard about this breathplay, but whatever. He loved Blaine, and he wanted to try anything Blaine wanted to try.

* * *

"So... how does this exactly work?" Kurt asked, awkwardly. They were both naked and just staring at each other.

"Well..." Blaine started. "It is called _breath_play... so, do we breathe on each other?"

_What the fuck? _Kurt thought. _How is that considered kinky? _Well, to be honest, he didn't know how to be... kinky. He knew the basics from his dad's pamphlets. But it never mentioned what you should do when your boyfriend wants to try... these things. "I guess so... I mean it seems sorta reasonable," He finally said.

"Ok." Blaine got closer to Kurt. He breathed on his neck. Kurt shivered. He wanted those lips to connect to skin.

But then he moved lower. Breathing down Kurt's neck.

"Blaaaaaine," Kurt sighed. He was really turned on right now. Maybe this was how it was supposed to be done.

"Are you turned on Kurt?" Blaine asked. He looked at Kurt with full-blown lust. He looked like he was really turned on.

Kurt wasn't exactly sure why. I mean, yeah, it's a good tease, but not enough to get him off. Blaine, on the other hand, looked like he could come at any minute. "Are you sure this is how you do it?"

"Well, no obviously. But I'm pretty sure it is. You making those sounds-" he breathed on his neck again, making Kurt shiver again and make a soft sigh. "Oh _god_ it just does so many amazing things to my body. But mostly my dick." He chuckled.

He breathed a few more times on Kurt's body, that elicited a few breathy sighs, and Blaine was coming.

"Oh my god, Kurt, that was so hot."

Kurt sorta faked an orgasm. He wasn't really hard anymore.

"I can't wait to try the next one, I heard it's really _wet_." He winked at Kurt.

**AN: **And that's the first chapter of being sort of/not really kinky! I hope you liked it!


	3. Chapter 3

"Kurt!"

Kurt didn't have to look to see who it was. "Hi, Blaine." Kurt got out his World History book from his locker and gave Blaine a kiss. "What's with the very warm welcome?" He shut his locker door.

"Guess what Santana told me?" He bit his bottom lip in sheer excitement.

"What did she tell you?" They started walking down the hallway, holding hands.

Blaine blushed.

_Oh my god, not another-_

Blaine moved to his ear, "It's called S&M... doesn't that sound really hot?"

"I guess so..." Kurt shrugged. He had no idea what S&M meant. But Blaine probably knew what he was doing. Santana told him about it, he has to... right?

* * *

_Wrong. So wrong._

"What did you just say?" Kurt wasn't sure he heard this right. Did Blaine really mean to say that or...?

"Semen and Milk! That's what S&M means!" Blaine said, excitedly. "I mean, doesn't that seem really hot to drink that?"

_No._ "Yeah, totally!"

And then they got to work. They were at Blaine's house, so Blaine went downstairs to get cups. He hurried into the room and shut the door. "We have 30 minutes to do this before my parents get home."

They both stripped and started masturbating. They thought it'd be easier (and quicker) to masturbate than get caught in the moment and come all over/in each other.

In 15 minutes, Blaine came into the cup, filling it halfway and shaking through his orgasm.

Kurt was really close, but it was nearing 30 minutes, so Blaine took over. He gave him a handjob until he finally came, filling his cup more than Blaine.

"Okay, Kurt, We have to hurry downstairs and mix our semen with milk."

Blaine heard his parents pulling in. "Hurry!"

They ran downstairs giggling with their cups of their own jizz. Blaine hurried up and opened the fridge door. He grabbed the milk and poured it into both of the cups until they were both full. They heard the door open and close and got a package of oreos to add to the façade.

Blaine's dad, Scott Anderson, walked in with his wife, Isabelle, trailing behind. "Hello, Blaine and... his friend."

"It's Kurt, dad. Also, he's not my _friend, _he's my _boy_friend." Blaine was fuming at his father. He didn't approve of him having a boyfriend. He still thought he was just "experimenting" and that he'd bring home a Catholic girl someday.

"Sure, Blaine." His dad's eyes wandered to the cups and oreos. "Say, what do you have there, Blaine?"

"What do you think, dad?" Blaine scoffed.

"I think you set these out just for Isabelle and I." He smirked at Blaine like a douche, and took the package and gave it to Isabelle. "Thanks, Blaine." He said taking the cups and leaving the room.

"Who does he think he i- Why are you laughing Kurt?" Blaine was really pissed, why the hell was he _laughing?_

"Blaine..." He whispered and giggled. "Those cups were half milk, half our _cum_."

"Oh my god, I completely forgot! I was so mad at him!" His eyes widened. "We _have_ to watch them, Kurt."

They walked to the living room doorway and peeked their heads in just enough to see Blaine's parents. They were dipping their oreos into Kurt and Blaine's "mixtures" and eating the cookies. Blaine and Kurt were giggling so much, that Scott looked over.

"What are _you_ two laughing about?" He said sternly, taking a drinking of the cup Kurt came in.

They doubled over in laughter, of being caught and Blaine's dad drinking Kurt's cum. "Oh, nothing dad," Blaine said grabbing Kurt's hand, receiving a stern glare from his dad and an eye roll from his mom. They started walking to the stairs.

"Don't do anything... gross." His dad said.

"We won't do anything like you're doing right now."

"What?" his dad asked.

"Oh, nothing!" Blaine said, pulling Kurt up the stairs, laughing.

**AN: **Wow, so I didn't expect that to happen, hm. I hope you guys are still reading it and liking it! Oh, and if you would, you could suggest some kinks for me to use. Thank you! :)


End file.
